Well, here we are
So, where do I start?
I’ve recently had a couple of deluded but well-meaning souls, who follow me on Twitter, suggest to me that my innate wit and incisive commentary deserved more room to breathe and maybe I should write a blog. After mooning around for a week or so (I do a lot of mooning around), I got off my backside and decided to put finger to keyboard.
Twitter, (if you have never used it and have been asleep for 15 years), is a micro-blogging platform, at least notionally. Nowadays it seems to be more of an online free-for-all where (amongst other things):
- You can be a nazi or a racist
- You can tell nazis and racists to fuck off (and then get shadow banned for a day)
- Lonely gentlemen can send pictures of their withered appendages to (mostly) horrified ladies (and men)
- Fun-loving ladies (both real and imaginary) can flash their chests at lonely gentlemen (and other fun-loving ladies)
- You can share inspirational videos of elephants rescuing kittens from waterfalls, etc.
- You can tell people who share almost every one of your political views that they are complete idiots and should delete their account
- You can meet the most wonderful person in the world (and who, inconveniently, usually lives on the other side of the world) and fall ridiculously and unwisely in love
- You can aim sarcastic and acerbic quips at people you have never met
- You can make both friends and enemies for life
…and lots more besides. (I’m not going to tell you which, if any, of these I have done, by the way. It’s more than three of them though.)
So, that’s Twitter. Try it. You might like it. Which is good advice for life in general, in my experience. Except for being a Nazi. Don’t try that.
Anyway, I’ve been making an absolute arse of myself on Twitter for over 10 years now. Exposing the inner intricacies of my mind to a disbelieving (and almost universally disinterested) virtual world and, as I mentioned at the top of this, in recent days, a number of people who have followed my depressed ravings for far longer than is healthy, have said that this limited self-humiliation isn’t enough: I should write a full-length blog and remove, as Mark Twain famously never said, all doubt that I am a fool.
So what can you expect from this blog? To be honest, I don’t know. A series of rambling stream-of-consciousness style observations on various topics which interest me (or annoy me) is most likely. Also some stupid photoshopping which takes me 35 minutes to raise a smirk from one person in Alaska or Mexico. Don’t expect any deep insights into anything – I’m a lazy dilettante, interested in lots of things but too indolent to become an expert in anything. You would want me on your pub quiz team, but don’t ask me to write a research paper. Unless it’s a research paper on pub quiz teams. Just joking, I wouldn’t do that either.
OK, I’ve started to bore myself now – which, you might have gathered, is not a particularly difficult achievement.
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Old people today are rubbish. Yes, I know I’m old. I can remember when you had to get up to change the channel on the telly. (Of course you still have to if you put batteries from Poundland in your remote). I’m old. But I’m talking about OLD old people. The type of people who… Read more
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